True Confessions: Why Lunchbox Prep is So Stressful for Me

I want my kids to make good choices for what they eat when they are adults. This starts with training them now. That’s a lot of pressure to carry every day when I’m stressed for time.

I have a confession to make.

I hate making my kids’ lunches.

And why is that, you ask?

Because every morning I stare at my cupboards, I feel completely incompetent as a parent.

Today’s blogpost is a bit personal — and you might even think too intense. But I wanted to share it because my frustration is real. Have I exaggerated the issue for the sake of my blog?… maybe a little. But I also wanted to give you a peek inside the “real Corinna” — with all my struggle and fears and failures.

This is hard to talk about — partly because I’m “the farmer’s wife” of a very successful CSA full of foodies. I should know how to do this stuff. I am after all the “guide” for my tribe.

Right?

But the truth is, lunchbox prep has always been so hard for me as a mom. I cannot figure out what to make for my kids.

And when I do, I rarely “feel good” about it.

I’ve created an expectation around lunchtime prep that is probably pretty ridiculous for your standards, but for better or worse, I thought I’d share all the baggage that goes on in my head every morning.

Here are the guiding principles that make this issue complicated for me.

1. I see school lunch time as a key training moment for my children’s palette.

Am I making too big of a deal here?

Think about it — Jed and Josiah spend 9 months out of the year eating one meal somewhere else. With lunch constituting 1/3 of their daily food source, that’s a very large percentage. What I “train them” to eat during these formative moments matters.

(This is partly why I don’t let them eat in the school cafeteria very often).

And yes… I see lunchtime as “training” for how to eat well. What we put into our bodies as fuel affects them cognitively while at school, but it also “maps” the brain neurologically for life. I have a short window of opportunity to train their brain to like eating a “better” way so that making healthy food choices as an adult is easy to do.

Again… remember. This is the stuff going on inside my head. Not saying it has to be in yours.

Kim Cipriani (a member of our CSA and my friend) is a dental hygienist, so she knows the impact of “bad food” on teeth. Listen to this: Kim never exposed her son Nico to soda as a young child. They just didn’t have it around — ever.

Now he’s 10 years old, and he doesn’t like soda. I used to watch him after school. And I tried offering him soda to drink once, and he chose… water.

He chose water.

What I put in my son’s lunchbox matters.

And this one mindset is the anchor of all my guilt when I throw together something thoughtlessly (which is like everyday).

2. School lunch menus aren’t what I want to feed to my kids. I try to avoid them.

Our CSA members expose their kids early on to new tastes. This is so key to training their palette while they are still malleable. I often wonder if I missed my window with my youngest son.

Yes, I know schools have limited budgets that pretty much make it impossible to buy “real” fresh food, which is why schools usually prepare cheaper processed items that you can quickly throw on a sheet pan and heat up. (No offense to schools… I love you guys. I’m just sayin’…)

But when you look at a typical “school lunch menu” calendar, the variety is discouraging.

It’s the same every month: tacos, pizza, hamburgers, grilled cheese, hot dogs, chicken fingers, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese.

Hmmm…. sounds like a lot of kids menus in like…. every single American restaurant?

And don’t get me started on “chocolate milk” counting as “milk” at school. Or Lunchables.

I want my kids to LOVE food — all kinds (including a killer grilled cheese sandwich with tomato and arugula).

For me, that means exposing my kids to “real” non-processed food now so they can learn to like lots of flavors. It also means protecting my kids from over-exposure to the same 6 American kids meal flavor profiles.

3. I don’t want my kids’ sack lunches to get boring or repetitive.

Wouldn’t it be great if your kid actually ate the lunch you prepared?

Mine don’t.

Here’s what sometimes happens:

This is what I wish my lunchbox looked like every day. Thoughtful, beautiful, and exciting to eat.

My boys will go on a yogurt fix and want yogurt for 5 days in a row. So I go buy a bunch of yogurt.  They love it. Then after a week, it starts coming back barely touched.

“I’m kinda getting bored with yogurt, Mom.”

Oh really?

This cycle repeats with different foods. And as much as I try to keep things fresh, why does it feel like my inventory is always missing the “right” options?

Is there some kind of “lunchbox meal plan template service” out there just to help me get the right ingredients in the house to work with?

Or maybe it’s that I just lose my imagination at 7:30 AM.

I can’t get past the basic formula: sandwich+fruit/veggie +chips. (Especially when both my boys don’t like sandwiches, and Josiah will inhale only chips).

Lunch is always an afterthought and never feels good enough. 

Many mornings, as I stare blankly into my cupboards, I ask my kids: “What do you want for lunch?” I then list off the usual options — crackers and cheese, sandwich, chips, fruit.

Unenthusiastic silence.

“I want beef jerky.” (I don’t have beef jerky).

It’s those moments where I get discouraged. Because then I realize that…

4. I want my kids to LOVE their lunch!

I mean… love their lunch.

I want them to open up their lunch bag and be so excited at what they find. A little bit of home enters their world each day, as they feel that “extra touch” from Mom.

And when I can’t deliver, I feel like I failed.

(Are you enjoying this therapy  session on the couch with me yet?)

I grew up with a repetitive lunch template: red or green apple, peanut butter sandwich, and chips.

How can I consistently create meals that my kids love to eat — so that I don’t feel like a failure?

But sometimes, my mom would throw in a curve ball — a meat sandwich with good bread, pickles, tomato and lettuce. With a non-generic bag of chips (Pringles!). And on REALLY special days, she’d  leave me 35 cents taped to the inside of my Strawberry Shortcake metal lunchbox so I could buy myself an ice cream at school for dessert.

Oh man! Those days were like heaven.

I know it’s unrealistic to expect that for my boys every day. But it’s an expectation I carry around with me anyway.

I want to be super-mom.

And one of the ways I express this “super-love” is by making “super lunches.”

Weird, right?

5. Truth: Jed (son #1) eats “better” than Josiah (son #2).

Oh man, this one is SO hard to admit out loud.

I was so intentional with Jed about what foods I exposed him to as a child.

Not so with Josiah. Josiah likes sugar and processed food.

I catch him climbing on the counters and grabbing the giant bag of chips “for lunch.” Or a whole box of Cheezits. He likes to ask for the brown sugar container (which he discovered from us m making cookies).

Josiah chugs soda. Jed doesn’t really care for it.

This is Miles Jambor from our CSA. I love how this picture shows Miles thinks that food is fun. Is “Foodieism” something you learn?

So when I see Josiah asking for the things I don’t want him to eat, there’s a part of me that wonders if it’s because I did something wrong. And there’s another part of me that feels guilty that I’m not around enough to supervise my kids (and what they may or may not be choosing to eat).

Why am I telling you this?

When I make lunch every morning, I’ve got this tape playing in my head and it goes something  like this:

“Must make healthy lunch to try and counteract what I failed to do with Josiah in the early years.”

6. Mornings feel rushed, and no, I probably won’t get up earlier.

Then there’s the “early morning riser” factor.

As in, I’m NOT an early morning riser.

Lunch time prep is stressful — because I value my sleep time  more. And so when we only have 40 minutes to get dressed, do chores, eat breakfast (Yes… I make a fresh homemade breakfast almost every morning), and make lunch — well… I’ve probably just set my lunchtime prep up for failure every time.

It would be so nice to have a plan for lunch time instead of punting every morning and never feeling like it’s good enough.

Does anyone make their lunch the night before?

7. You get what you get. And you don’t get upset.

Yes, before you accuse me of coddling my kids, this phrase goes through my head a lot on school mornings. Mostly when I am angry that my kids don’t like what I put in their lunch.

You’re gonna eat what I make, buster. My life doesn’t revolve around you. And that’s that!

Ooo… wait. Did I say that out loud?

8. Get a grip, Corinna. It’s lunch. It’s not  like they’re choosing their future spouse here.

Yes, I think about this too, my friends. Don’t worry. I’m not completely off my rocker.

Sometimes I tell myself that it’s absolutely normal and healthy for kids to get bored with their lunch, to long for some expensive beef jerky that I’ll never buy, or whine about a soggy burrito they got in their lunch.

But the reality is, for all 8 of these reasons (and some that I haven’t articulated), I feel horribly under-equipped with how to make lunchtime prep a positive experience.

So I’m asking for some help.

Pizza is a favorite of every kid in America. But I want my kids to learn to eat “fancy” foodie pizza like this — the stuff you make yourself with real food on it. Is that so wrong?

I know there are many of you who have this lunchtime prep down to an art. You revel in the challenge! And although I will never be as good as you — I’m pretty sure I can glean a few tips to manage my morning workflow a bit better if I just listen to YOU.

So… beginning Sept. 23, I’m starting a 21 day Lunchbox Challenge, and I want you to consider joining me. We’ll be asking our tribe to commit to “making better lunches” for 3 weeks of school. I want you to share pictures of your journey. I’ll share my wins and failures. And I’ll share the tips and tricks I learn from all of you before/during and after.

(You ARE going to share your tips and tricks. Got that?)

My goal is to help other families practice (not master) healthy lunch-making skills. Because I know I’m not alone in this frustration.

I’m looking for ideas from YOU like:

• easy lunchtime recipe templates
• kitchen gear that makes lunch prep easy
• strategies for lunch meal planning that reduces stress or saves time
• ideas for ingredients to have on hand that kids love
• popular shortcuts you use for meal prep
• simple ways to “jazz up” a lunchbox meal
• Your kids favorite lunches
• Brands you recommend (cuz processed food ain’t the devil)
• Funny anecdotes of your child’s lunchtime experiences.

Will you help me?

If you’ve got some ideas to share, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you sent me an email at slfarms2@gmail.com. I am making this a big research project to help equip myself but also support all the other moms/dads who might feel a little bit of lunchtime overwhelm.

And if you’re in the same boat as me… shoot me an email too. Let me know I’m not alone. (I can’t be the only one who dreads lunchtime prep). slfarms2@gmail.com

So help me, SLF tribe! Teach me how to do this better! Next week, we’ll have more details about the 21 Day Challenge, the rules, and the prize. (Of course, there’s a prize!)

Final thoughts: The other day, I was sharing these frustrations with CSA member and friend Kathy Pietrowski.

You know what she said?

“I make my kids make their own lunch.”

YES….

The 5 Things You Should NOT Be Packing in Your Child’s Lunch